Only the Wounded Can Let You Go
by Ififall
Summary: Different ending. His friends have found out his secret, but can Roy save himself and those closest to him?
1. Chapter 1

A/N: This is an alternate ending. Swearing, Adult scenes.

_"Give me a sign" _That's all he was thinking. All of something, half of nothing, boiled down to one thing. He needed to feel him there, say nothing and look at him. Stand so close to him that his lungs breathed in his breath. But all he could feel was the bullying wind scratching the warmth that covered him like a cocoon. He hovered in the house as Burke and Randy looked at him with a disgusted smirk. Nathan didn't need them, but he didn't need the memories of his troubles either. He took at deep breath and turned away from them, looking up at the ceiling, hoping they wouldn't beat him. Hoping they wouldn't touch him. He counted to ten and turned around, the ghosts and the boys were both gone. Roy was racing back to camp. Every twig he stepped on frightened the shit out of him. He'd pack up, run for Nathan go back home and fake a cold so he didn't have to go to school for a week. He poisonious doubt flooded his mind as he thought of the rumours. How could he protect his reputation, how could he protect his parents? This whole night had been bullshit anyway. He cursed himself for laying his hands on Nathan, Why was that boy so scared all the time?

"No wonder you camped with Nate, you both got something ya don't want us to catch?" Randy shouted.

It was time to face the music. All he needed was some space to get away, be ashamed act a little tough, then run home back to mummy and daddy. "Me and Nathan are just friends OK?" Roy told them, dismantling the tent and trying to roll it up. Burke walked over and put his foot on the tent, threatening to crush the frame. Roy wondered if Burke was going to do that to his spine. "We're friend's Roy, we were..." Burke said clenching him by the cuff and dragging him up. "Just let..." Roy began before he felt the full force of Burke's fist in his face. The blood slithered out of his nose like an angry snake. Burke nodded and Randy kicked his head so hard he could feel his brain scream. So this was end. What a shitty way to kick the bucket. They'd kill him out here bury his body in the gutter path by the lake and threaten Nathan.

Nathan.

The thought of him gave Roy pain that he couldn't even compare to the beating. The thought of never seeing this kid again felt so achingly raw he had to scream out. Burke heard him groan and with his foot, rolled him onto his front. Roy shuddered as snot dribbled into his mouth and he started to unbutton his shirt. Amazingly Burke and Randy paused for a moment wondering what the hell he was doing. "We don't want you queer" Randy spoke as he reached out to strike his ex's friend's ribs, but Burke had other plans. This could be sorted out, right here right now. He pushed Randy back and looked over to the tent. "Randy ya shouldn't be in this, pack the tent, get back home" "Wha...but" Randy began ready to give the dirtbag another beating for cheating on his girl and being sick enough to touch up a guy.

"You don't want this queer's grief do ya, his sick blood on ya hands, I've got this, go" Burke said the chill from the wind refusing to rattle his teeth. Randy nodded packing up, before coming back to Roy, leaning over and spitting out the largest lugie he could cough up from his throat. High- fiving Burke as he left, his friend ordered Roy to get up. Trembling Roy only got to his knees before Burke kicked him in the face. Crouching over him like a hungry tiger he sat on him throwing jabs to his face and neck. "Gotta keep that mouth of your's safe ain't we?" Pushing his thumb and forefinger roughly against his cheek. "Go to hell" Roy said as he pushed Burke's hand down on his muddy thigh. "You know they'll kill ya back home" Burke grunted, reaching for his neck. "After this, you can't come back" "Who says?" Roy asked, smiling while suffocating, and Burke loosened his grip. "All those times I've spent with ya drinking, and this is the shit you pull" Roy dragged Burke's hand away from his throat only to get his face scratched and the weight of Burke's body on his. It was almost crushing him, but as Roy panted gasping for air he accidently stroked the seam of Burke's jeans and had an idea.

"What's mama gonna think? We know what your daddy'll do" Burke said as he gave him a worringly glare. Roy tried to get his hands up but Burke took one of his wrists and twisted it so hard Roy had to turn onto his stomach. "Look at me when I talk to you fucker!" Burke shouted. It was now or never. Roy spun around went to the side of Burke's face and licked his cheek. He got hit back, but with less force, it was working, slowly but surely. "Look at me Burke" Roy said, his fingers shaking as he buttoned his shirt. "Look at me and tell me you don't want this" He placed Burke's hand on his bare chest, but Burke ended up turning him onto his front and punching his back. Roy wondered why Burke wasn't skinning him alive until he could feel the warmth of Burke's breath and the sharp pain of Burke's teeth against his neck.

He tried to turn about but Burke moved him back. He slid a hand round Roy blood stained jeans and undid his buttons rather quickly before sliding his own jeans then his boxers off. Knowing that Burke was off his guard, Roy elbowed him in the chest as for the first time since the tag-team started, he could slowly feel his feet on the ground. "I'm not doing this here, ya gotta talk to Randy" Burke grinned and did his jeans up, sitting on his heels. "Randy's a big boy, I can't tell him what to do" Roy walked over to Burke and leaned down gently pushing Burke's legs open. He blew hoarse air into cupped fingers before putting his bruised hands into Burke's jeans and nervously stroking his dick. Burke zipped down his trousers a little more, but Roy took his hand out before Burke was ready to explode.

"You seem like a big boy yaself, you have to go to Randy, your the only one that can scare the shit outta him" Roy asked hoping that he looked needy enough to convince him. "I might. If you stay away from that nerdy fag" Burke told him buttoning up his jeans. "Ya mean Nath-" Roy began before Burke got up and sucker punched him in the stomach. "Don't fucking say his name. You look him again, and every fucker'll know that you sucked his dick, I can warn you from Randy, I can turn this a whole 'nother way... you don't bother him, ya understand?" Burke asked with anger that was as fake as Roy's ghost stories. Roy nodded as he got up looking at his and his pal's tent.

"No worries, I'll bother you instead" On battered glass-fragile legs Roy stepped toward Burke and held his hand out. Burke grabbed his chin before pulling Roy's shirt collar and kissing him roughly. Forcing Roy to taste the fact that he was cheating, that he and Nathan were over. Burke pushed him away like a dog before packing up. "Let's go" Burke told him as Roy nodded, knowing he couldn't even dare to look at anything other than the ground. He just hoped Nathan would understand that he was doing this for the both of them. Unaware that Nathan already knew. Laying on the forest bed the starlight was patient it stayed silent, revealing Roy's betrayal. He'd heard everything, _seen_ everything. The sight of Roy's hand down Burke's pants made him sick. He couldn't handle it, he wouldn't. The anger he felt couldn't be described, he couldn't understand the need to howl like a desserted wolf, but he couldn't remember feeling this alone. Ever.

He pictured his mother so he didn't swear. Clenching his hands together he needed to be saved from the jealousy and lust he felt for Roy. Closing his eyes and whispering a prayer, he forced himself to believe Roy was too perfect to really exist.


	2. Waiting's Never Over

A/N: Thanks for the reviews. Strong Language, Adult scenes.

"Mama I'm fine" Roy said as his mother dabbed at his face with cotton buds. "That was some fall you took" "Yeah" Roy replied. He told his parents he fell at a site plot skip near the park, he told his Dad how huge the hole was, how he'd torn his elbows and knees up, how Burke and Randy helped him out. He promised his mother that if he felt dizzy at school he'd tell the teachers to call. He got on the bus avoiding the other kids gazes as they looked at his face in confusion. He finally saw Nathan get on the bus, it hurt to look at him, but Roy couldn't help it, his eyes were obessesed with getting glimpse after clip of Nathan. He watched Nathan get on the bus without a word and Roy wondered if his "friends" had said anything.

The second he started the engine Burke came on the bus with Randy. Roy stared straight ahead as Burke ran down the isle of the bus and sat on the seats infront of Nathan. Now Nathan was out of sight and Roy felt more lousy. Hey...you OK?" Randy asked as Roy thought back to Randy leaning over him and spitting a lugie on him in the woods. "Yeah" Roy said as he put the bus into gear. Randy walked away smiling like the beating had never happened. Burke really did have Randy trained. Now it was time for Roy to do the same to Burke.

Burke was in all of his classes except for one. Even at breaktime Roy had no escape. They huddled as they usually did under the conker tree in the playing court. Burke and Randy were looking at the girls with their high pony-tails and short skirts. Roy knew that he should be doing the same thing, even though he had Evelyn. "So next weekend, we going to Latmyer pond for some fishing?" Burke asked, even though both of the other boys knew it was an order. "Sure we can go to the tackle shop to get some maggot bait" Randy said as he pulled out a packet of crisps from his bag. He shook the bag at Burke letting his friend take some and then started eating the bag. Burke nudged him, before he offered some crisps to Roy. Roy thought about refusing but didn't want to show Burke up, so he took a couple.

"Talking of maggots" Randy said as they turned to see Nathan walking on the court towards the benches. "Nate" Burke yelled across the court. "Come on" He said asking him over with a friendly arm. Roy saw Nathan think about it. Suddenly to Roy's relief Nathan got up and joined them under the tree. Burke stood next to him while Randy squeezed himself in between Roy and Burke. "We were just talking about fishing next week" Burke said. "Wanna come?" He asked. "I don't know, I'd have to..." Nathan said as Burke laughed. "You ain't coming with us" Burke told him pointing at Randy then Roy. "Us three right here, we're not your friends" Randy laughed along with Roy as Nathan ran back to the benches. Roy took about two small steps in Nathan's direction before Burke had him by the arm. "Where the fuck are you going?" Burke asked as he let go. "We've got class"

Another sixty minutes of hell. Each second felt like a knife stuck in his chest. When the bell rang Roy leapt up hoping to catch Nathan on the way home, but Burke had other plans. Roy was almost out the door when Burke side-stepped him and nearly took his shoulder off. "Told Dad you'd help planting the garden, he's depending on ya now" Burke said as Roy nodded bitterly. After Roy had parked the bus back at school they walked to Burke's place. Roy helped himself to garden tools and dug out the weeds with a garden spade Burke watched him for a while before calling him over to the shed. "I can use the lawnmower if ya want" Roy said as he walked in the shed. "If your Dad don't mind" "Nah, he won't be back till late" Burke said as he shut the shed door closing Roy in.

"Get over here" Burke asked as he started undoing his belt buckle. "No-one's home" It was weird for Roy, the only person he'd touched like that was Nathan. He sucked as quickly as he could, he didn't like the way Burke's dick felt in his mouth, the way Burke gripped his head so that Burke was all Roy could taste. He heard a low grunt as Burke shot his load in his mouth, he put his dick back in his pants and make sure Roy swallowed it. It tasted clammy and sticky and horrible. Burke opened the door and Roy got back to his feet. "Fuck off buddy, see ya tomorrow" Burke said as Roy left in a hassled hurry.

As soon as Roy got home he went upstairs and brushed his teeth. Erasing Burke from his gums. He didn't know how long he could stand it, what more Burke would want him to do and for how long. He went to the window and looked across to Nathan's house. His bedroom curtains were closed and his light wasn't on. Roy would have done anything to see Nathan's shadow right about now. His dark shape behind the curtain would have brightened Roy's day, but it wasn't happening. He sat watching TV in his room until he heard the knock his ears and his whole body had been waiting for. "I'll get it mom" Roy said as he ran down the stairs at lightning speed.

_"Please God let it be Nathan. It has to be..." _Roy thought.

Roy opened the door to see hair tied up in a ponytail, spotless pale skin with a button nose, rosey cheeks pouting pink lips and almond shaped eyes.

"Hey Roy, you gonna let me in?" Roy's girlfriend asked.

Roy's girlfriend Evelyn was every guy's fantasy, but to Roy, Evelyn had never looked Uglier.


	3. The Come Back

A/N: Thanks for the reviews. Sorry this update took so long. Strong Language. Adult scenes. Borrowing MMA Fighters.

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><p>Not much time had gone by, but so much had happened. He wasn't the same boy that was Evelyn's Boyfriend. He wasn't sure what to say. He just looked at her.<p>

"Umm….how you doing?" Roy asked.

"Good. Can I come in?" She asked. He nodded and Evelyn came in and sat down. They watched TV and Evelyn asked him all kinds of questions. Like why he'd hadn't called her, and why he'd barely spoken to her at school. "I know you want Guy time with Burke, Roy. But….I'm your girlfriend" She said. "Yeah" Roy said. They arranged to meet up this weekend.

* * *

><p>"So...you'll call me right?" Evelyn asked. "Yeah, I'm sorry I've been….off lately" Roy said. She kissed him on the cheek and left. His Mother came into the living room and asked Roy who was there. He answered her.<p>

"Roy you could have asked her to stay for dinner. Evelyn didn't have to go. Call her if you want" His Mother said. Roy nodded, but he didn't. After doing his homework, he wrote a note to Nathan and put it in the barn. As far as Roy knew, he and Nathan were the only ones who went in there. In the note he asked Nathan to meet him at the Miller Hunting Grounds tomorrow.

* * *

><p>It was the only way they could have some privacy. Nathan wasn't talking to Roy at school. He couldn't handle seeing Burke and Roy together. He'd taken up sport as a new hobby and had found some new friends.<p>

Nick Diaz and Rory MacDonald were the cool guys in school. They were older athletes and He hung around with them now. Roy noticed the change in Nathan but he couldn't talk to him about it. Diaz and MacDonald wouldn't have been too happy.

* * *

><p>"So class, homework is Double division, I want it in by Monday" Mr Lomax said. Roy sighed. Hated Maths. One it was hard, Two, it reminded him of Nathan. In the early days, Nate had offered to help him with his Maths Homework.<p>

They'd stuck together ever since. Roy struggled with his Homework on his own looking forward to meeting Nate tomorrow. Roy counted down the hours. When he got home from School he showered and changed.

* * *

><p>He got calls from Burke but for once, he ignored them. Roy had a peaceful sleep that night, dreaming of Nate planning what he was going to say. The things that he was going to do with him. It made his heart beat fast. He woke up in the morning to hear a loud knock on the door. He heard his mother calling his name.<p>

"Roy honey….it's Burke!" His mother shouted. Disappointed Roy got ready for school and met him downstairs.

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><p>Roy, come here" Burke said dragging him outside towards the barn. He pushed Roy against the outside wall of the barn and punched him in the stomach.<p>

"Don't ever fucking miss my calls again Roy. I'm watching you" Burke said. To make things worse., Burke invited everyone to the Miller Hunting Grounds for Target practise.

"Come on Roy, are you coming?" His friend Johny asked.

* * *

><p>"You bet he is" Burke said. Roy was meeting friends at Six and was planning to meet Nathan at Eight. So hopefully he would have more than enough time. But what if Nathan didn't show up? Or what if he came late?<p>

What if his friends wanted to stay for Three hours instead? There were so many things that could go wrong. After a school-day of his friends pressuring him to go, Roy said that he would.

* * *

><p>Roy went to Miller's Hunting Grounds. He had fun, when Burke wasn't checking up on him all the time. They fired at Clay pigeons and Bulls-Eye boards. After returning the guns, they went Burke's house to get beer, and then drank it in the park.<p>

Roy pretended to drink his. It was getting dark and his friends were too drunk to notice. "Roy, my Brother's got new parts for the Four Double Three Lexus. All of us were gonna take it out for a spin so…." Burke started to say.

* * *

><p>"Tonight?" Roy asked. All of the Boys nodded. Now Roy realised why Burke hadn't told him until now. More peer pressure. That he couldn't take.<p>

"I've gotta go" Roy said.

"Where?" Burke asked.

* * *

><p>"Seeing Evelyn?" Robbie said smiling. Roy nodded. "Roy wait…." Burke said, but he couldn't finish his sentence, Burke's little Brother came towards them and Roy saw this as his chance to escape.<p>

"Burke, Mama wants you back…. right now" His little Brother said. Burke ignored him.

"Roy get back here" Burke shouted. But Roy kept walking then ran when he thought he was far away from them. He went back to Miller's Hunting Grounds and waited outside on the bench. Of course he was worried that Burke would come back. Roy's stomach was still bruised from the punch Burke gave him this morning.

* * *

><p>Roy saw a shadow walking towards him. Was it his friends Johny? Martin? Chris? Robbie? Was it Burke? Had he come to punish Roy for running away? As the shadow crept closer, the Security Guard put the motion sensor lights on.<p>

"Hey Nate" Roy said.

Nate's hair looked well brushed. He was wearing a checked shirt and Three quarter lengths with light Grey Trainers. Roy wanted Nate to do something. Hug him. Kiss him on the cheek. Touch him….anything. But Nate just stood there.

* * *

><p>"So?" Nate asked.<p>

"Umm…..how are you?" Roy asked. He felt guilty for sounding so awkward. But Nate wasn't making this easy.

"How's Burke?" Nate asked. Roy sighed.

* * *

><p>"Nate….I know you feel….like….I picked you over Burke" Roy said standing up. He didn't touch Nate, he didn't want to freak him out.<p>

"But…..I'm doing this for us. I have to hang around with Burke. If I don't…he'll hurt the both of us" Roy said.

* * *

><p>"Roy….I've gotta go" Nate said. He started to turn away, and Roy couldn't let him go.<p>

"Nate, wait. Don't be mad at me. Everything I've done with Burke has been to protect you" Roy said. But Nate shook Roy's hands off.

* * *

><p>"Nate" Roy said.<p>

"Protect me?...Roy...I saw you" Nate said quietly. Roy looked at him and shrugged.

"What do you mean?" Roy asked. Nate turned his way but didn't look at him. Roy figured he was still pissed off about Burke.

* * *

><p>"Nate...what are you talking about?" Roy asked again.<p>

"Roy…..That night...I saw you and Burke in the woods…._Together_" Nate told him.


End file.
